I Can't Sleep!

I feel bad that I haven’t been nice enough to update everyone on my status after that brief posting I gave two weeks ago. Since then I’ve made it through another treatment and even a small cold. The cold knocked me out this entire past weekend. I spent it on the couch. I had high hopes to work on the basement and you know, feel semi-normal, but my body didn’t get the memo. It made me a little nervous, because I can’t imagine how I would feel if I got really sick. I guess that’s why they tell Sara to rush me to the E.R. if I’m having a fever.

It’s annoying not knowing what the new day will bring. Everyday something rears its ugly head and makes me miserable in some fashion.  I’m not trying to be pessimistic either, I just have to admit how completely wacked out my body is right now. It’s scary feeling so out of touch and out of control of the form you are trying to live in.

Tomorrow I go in for a CT scan in Cranberry. This will be the first true test to measure if my enlarged lymph nodes in my neck, armpits, back, and pelvis are receding. During the Steelers victory win tonight I had to drink some of the contrast junk in about 16oz of juice before going to bed. It must be pretty nasty if it had to be masked by that much juice and the fact that the juice didn’t really taste like juice afterwards. What’s even more fun is that I get to do it again in the morning before we head out to the test. At least there is a Denny’s breakfast to look forward to with my honey!

I’m not sure if it’s that junk that I drank, but it’s 2:45am and I can’t sleep!! Hello people I have to go to work after that scan. I hate not being able to sleep. It’s been less lately especially with the cold, thankfully that’s dissipating.

I met with my ENT (ear-nose-throat) doctor last Friday to check out my incision and just see how treatments are going in general. He seemed pleased with how I looked and felt, but it’s very hit or miss with me right now, he must have caught me at a good hour. He did check for lumps in my neck/trap area and said that he couldn’t really feel anything out of the normal range. So that was a good thing to hear! Let’s hope the scan tomorrow confirms that! We’ll go over the results next week before my treatment with my oncologist.

Thanks again to everyone that leaves me comments, sends me cards and emails, and attempts to hug me at church! I sincerely appreciate it, I can’t say it enough. Time to attempt some shut-eye.

5 thoughts on “I Can't Sleep!

  1. Beck

    I love you, Ben! I am praying that the CT scan isn’t too yucky and that the results will be awesome!!! I hope your Grand Slam eggs are cooked just right, that your toast has enough butter on it and that your bacon is just the way you like it. I can’t imagine not sleeping — I hope that it was just because of the CT cocktail and that it won’t happen again! I’m thinking of you always!

    Reply
  2. Stef

    Hey there buddy, I hope u get ta catch up on your sleep.

    Take this quote as you want…

    “The last three or four reps is what makes the muscle grow. This area of pain divides the champion from someone else who is not a champion. That’s what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they’ll go through the pain no matter what happens.”
    – Arnold Schwarzenegger, Pumping Iron

    Keep fighting this with many extra reps! You can do it and we all know it! =+)

    Many prayers to you and your wife!

    Reply
  3. Tim Kolodziej

    Ben, we’re praying for you and Sara, brother! God continually reminds me of you throughout the day. Peace, rest and comfort to you until the storm moves on.

    Reply
  4. A b

    Love to you and Sara! Ad continued prayers for healing and strength and a daily assurance that God is more than Big enough to get you through all this CRAP!

    love you so much, so very much!

    Reply

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